Bugs, Dickheads and a Lance Sighting

What a glorious day for a ride. I set off just after 9:30am under spring sun that sat in the sky all on its lonesome. It was planned to do another 100km ride, but on a slightly different route that would include a bit more climbing. Off to one of my favourite climbs, Nowra Hill. No problems getting there, not setting any cracking pace, but happy to be out sans arm and leg warmers. It is no Berry Mountain, but at 1.4kms averaging 6%, is a good work out. I was feeling ok until about half way up the climb, starting to suck in the big breaths when a bug mucked up its flight plan and flew straight down my neck. Throat spasming and eyes bulging, the little bugger seemed determined to check out the insides of my lungs. I hack, and pedaled and coughed. Eyes teared up and nose running, I eventually persuaded the little bugger that he was going the wrong way down a one way street and hacked him up. I’m not sure if he survived, but he damn near claimed a victim a lot bigger than he was.

After that it was a leisurely roll, mainly downhill, into Nowra. No time to stop, my planned lunch stop was at Berry. At the 2 hour mark, I decided I would stop for a nature break and rehydrate.

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Not a bad place for a stretch. From here it is about 12kms of rolling hills through farm country. It was on this stretch that the next incident happened. On a nice straight bit of road, I was traveling along happily, feeling good to be out on such a top day. I then hear a car approaching from behind, so I move to the very edge of the road. I get the feeling that it should have passed me by now. At that very moment the bonnet appears about 6 inches from my leg, he guns it, lays on the horn and god knows how many of them scream at me. The idiot driver must have been looking at me because he squeezed me off the road and I was headed for a barbed wire fence. Thank god for the light action Speedplay pedals. I got both feet out and sort of laid the bike over away from the fence. The front wheel dug in and my man parts were introduced to the bikes stem. My leg, or, plums, I don’t know which, knocked the Garmin computer out of its mount and off into the paddock, just on the other side of the fence. I let go with a volley of well selected words, but the idiots were long gone, all I could see was a blue sedan getting smaller in the distance.

I had to stop for a minute or two to regain my composure, and make sure my anatomy was still in the state of near perfection it normally is. Back on the road, and I was off again, but in a very dark mood. I stopped at Berry for some lunch, and the tardy shop assistants behind the counter got a Norbury serve for having a conversation whilst I stood waiting to order.

Lunch went down the gullet, as well as some remaining bug, and I was off, heading home. Stopping in at the rest area on the south side of Berry, I noticed that Lance must have visited some time this year.

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From there it is about 45kms to home. The wind had picked up, but was in my back for most of the trip home. The Garmin was still having some issues, not auto resuming, so my Strava stats are out by about 5kms I estimate.

Overall, an eventful ride. Now, where is the ice?

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